Love, Hate, and Guilty Secrets. We never mind telling people about things we love or hate, but how about the things we love, but would hate for anyone to find out about?
Well, it’s time to free yourself of that fear!
For each of the categories below, list one thing you love, one that you hate, and then, take a deep breath and tell us something you hate to admit you love.
Really.
You’ll feel better for it!
1. Food
I love __roast chicken.
I hate __Brussel sprouts.
My guilty secret is __Cookies.
2. Apparel
I love __hats.
I hate __neckties.
My guilty secret is __boxer briefs.
3. Books
I love __mystery stories.
I hate __bad chick books.
My guilty secret is __(none).
4. Songs
I love __melody.
I hate __rap, heavy metal, and anything else not melodious.
My guilty secret is __Bessie Smith.
5. Movie
I love __Tom Jones (back when it was new).
I hate __noise and violence.
My guilty secret is __James Bond.
6. TV Show
I love __Mythbusters.
I hate __ reality TV.
My guilty secret is __NCIS reruns.
7. Celebrity Crush
I love __Andie McDowell.
I hate __Most any out-of-control starlet.
My guilty secret__changes weekly.
8. Music Group
I love __Willie Nelson.
I hate __too many to count.
My guilty secret is __Diana Ross, Karen Carpenter.
9. Sports Team
I love __NY Mets, NY Giants
I hate __ all basketball.
My guilty secret is __sailing those few times it’s on TV.
Bonus:
Sex Position or Sex Act or fetish
I love __being controlling during sex.
I hate __What’s to hate?
My guilty secret is __this blog.
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Old questions come back to haunt us this week. I’m not going to look back and see what I said the first time.
November 23, 2010 – Have you ever shared sleeping accommodations with someone of the opposite sex without anything steamy happening?
The person who phrased this question must not have been thinking about married couples. Ha, ha.
I can’t think of a time.
November 9, 2010 – When it comes to swinging or partner swapping, which would excite you more, watching or being watched?
Either would be good. Actually, either would be terrific.
November 2, 2010 – Would you vote for a candidate caught in a sex scandal?
Yes, I might, but it wouldn’t be a plus. It would depend a lot on exactly what it was and how he/she handled it.
October 11, 2010 – Do you masturbate to porn, and if so, what is your favorite genre?
I remember one thing I said last time: I find commercial porn to be boring. I was thinking of the US and European product. I like some (far from all) of the Asian product better. And even better, true amateur…
September 7, 2010 – What are three mistakes someone could make on the first date with you that would automatically make you turn down a second date with them?
Leaving me alone on the side of the road in a rainstorm. Ha, ha.
Let me start over. 1. Being stupid. I know it’s not actually a mistake, but I’m not having a long term romantic relationship in which I have to explain all my jokes. 2. It’s all about her. I’m not a Dom, but I’m especially not a sub. 3. Being a substance abuser. ‘Nuff said.
Bonus: Is your sex drive in park, neutral or over-drive. Explain.
Neutral, but fortunately, on a downhill.
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This week’s TMI Tuesday is about sex and romance. Who doesn’t enjoy a little romance or the art of seduction before engaging in sex? Often times the prelude is better than the actual ‘event’.
1. You are sitting alone in a restaurant because your lunch date is late. Do you: a) Throw something and then make out with the waiter. b) Check to make sure he or she didn’t get into an accident, then wait patiently for two hours and use the time to compose a love song or poem. c) Send a nasty text followed up by a voice mail telling him/her that “romance is dead and so are you!” d) Wait for 20 minutes, and then text-message a pal to join you for lunch.
It’s never good when my wife is late. I can’t recall that she’s every been hurt or had any other sort of disaster, but she will be in a bad mood. If circumstances permit, I might try a phone call after a half hour.
2. What’s more important, a romantic relationship or your career?
Family. At this point in my life, there’s no point in worrying about my career.
3. You love to role play in the bedroom, which one of these is more likely to be your kink? a. Doctor and the naughty nurse b. You’re the gardener, I’m the hoe c. Persnickety principal and the wayward pupil that needs a spanking d. Me Tarzan, you Jane e. Scattered-brain boss and the seductive secretary
I could go for “dirty old man seduces ingenue”, so I pick (c) principal/student.
4. When you want sex, who tends to make the first move? a. Me! I like to go for what I want. b. It varies. Sometimes my partner/significant other/date or sometimes me. c. Oh definitely the other person. Even if I want it, I’m not about to admit such a thing. d. I drop subtle hints hoping he/she will pick up on it.
It’s gonna be me who makes the move. In the declarative mood.
5. When it comes to lovemaking, select the answer that best describes you/your attitudes a. vanilla – meets society’s middle of the road standards b. adventurous c. kinky d. trisexual – I will try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure. –Mae West
Vanilla. Probably McCormick. Nothing so fancy as Madagascar vanilla.
6. You want to seduce that sexy someone, what is the sweet-nothing that you’ll whisper in his/her ear?
“Come sailing with me.”
Bonus: What’s your idea of a romantic getaway?
Pretty much any getaway will do. There’s no motel too grungy for me to think about sex when I walk into the room. Still, the more like a bedroom and less like a hotel room it is, the better.
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TMI central is going back to roots: asking us to reveal intimate info.
1. List ONE word to describe your last sexual encounter.
SuperLovingConjugaliciousGentleButFerocious!
2. Can you recall your worst sexual experience? Why was it so awful? Did you do anything at the time to try to make it better?
I’m don’t remember a standout disaster. Getting a phone call from the wife’s father about 30 seconds prior to (hoped for) penetration was a lowlight. Thank God for answering machines.
3. Do you fuck outside the box?
No, I like it in the box (ha, ha). All kidding aside, we don’t push the envelope.
4. Do you blend BDSM in to your relationship? If yes, just in the bedroom or in other areas of your life? Explain.
Nope.
5. Does the thought of your partner/significant other having sex with another person turn you on? Would you want to watch the act? Would you like to join in?
In real life, a turn-off for me. In fantasy, my inner voyeur would pretty much like to see anybody screw anybody.
Bonus: Fill in the blanks.
I like it golden brown and delicious on the outside and pink in the middle.
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Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about love, not sex. But to hell with that.
1. Cupid is the god of desire, affection, and erotic love. As the myth goes, a person who is shot by Cupid’s arrow is filled with uncontrollable desire. On your behalf, who would you like Cupid to shoot?
“Uncontrollable desire” would be like…Hedone. I’m not sure I could handle that. (I could fondle her, though.)
2. Earlier in the evening you had dinner at the Fook Yue Chinese Restaurant. You are feeling quite amorous. You open a fortune cookie in the bedroom. Three fortunes appear:
1- “Your patience will be rewarded.” What would you like that reward to be? Sexual satisfaction would be nice.
2- “Try something new.” What is the something new you want to try? A new location. Perhaps that romantic B&B everyone’s always suggesting.
3- ” ’tis better to give than receive.” What would you like to give? Head.
3. If you were to write a special Valentine message (e.g., card, letter, etc.) what is that message?
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Let’s go to bed And have a nice screw.
4. Are you doing something special for Valentine’s day or is it just another day?
Minimal special activities. Perhaps a dessert.
5. You must give chocolate to your secret Valentine for Valentine’s Day. The chocolate is in the shape of your what?
I think it’s last Easter’s left over chocolate bunny.
Bonus:
You can make your own valentine heart candy. What is your message?
U & Me XXXX
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In my last post, I promised to participate, but there is a female point of view to the questions this week which makes it hard. I’ll do the best I can.
All about the wedding tackle, twig & berries, pole, fire hose, skin flute, dipstick, meat thermometer or what we all know as the penis.
1. What’s more important – length or width? Why?
Goldilock’s Rule: Not too big, and not too small. Just the size Mama Bear likes.
2. Ever encountered one that was too big for you to handle?
N/A.
3. Best place to put a penis?
Beloved Object’s vagina.
4. If you had a penis for a day, what would you do with it?
I have a penis all day, every day, and it spends most of it’s time in my pants.
5. You’re a penis, which love canal (that’s a vagina) would you most like to visit:
a. short and shallow
b. fall into the gap, gliding smoothly along the slick walls
c. tight suction lip-lock
d. none, I prefer the back door thank you
I prefer Goldilock’s….. Well, let’s say Papa Bear sees (feels?) no advantage to extremes of size or shape.
Bonus: What is the perfect name for your penis or a penis you use often?
1. What will you be celebrating? If it isn’t a commonly known holiday or celebration (i.e., Christmas, winter solstice, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa) briefly tell us about it.
Christmas. I’m a WASP. ‘Nuff said.
2. What’s your favorite Christmas or holiday tune?
Is it a competition? Who wins Christmas?
I refuse to choose.
3. If you are giving or receiving gifts this holiday season:
- What’s the gift you most want?
I’m not feeling too needy in the things department. I have more dissatisfaction in the activities arena, and that’s trickier from the gifting point of view. There are plenty of things that I own that are of OK quality that could be upgraded to achieve a higher level of satisfaction.
- What do you think is the best gift you are giving?
Flingshot Monkeys
4. If you could spend this December holiday season anywhere, where would that be?
Someplace with sun, sand, sailboat.
5. Your family has announced that the holiday celebration & get-together will be at your home. You think to yourself:
a. Yes! Finally…the more the merrier. b. I don’t have enough room for all of you, but let’s rent a hall and you all get hotel rooms. c. Over my dead body, I don’t want you freaks in my house. d. Hmm…I wonder if it’s too late to book a flight to anywhere, leaving on Christmas eve?
A pretty much unimaginable scenario. Answer b, with hopes for d.
6. Have you ever given a fruit cake as a Christmas gift or a gift at all? Do you even like fruit cake?
This week we gave a fruit cake (click) to a couple in my extended family, along with a freezer-full of Australian meat pies.
Bonus: Share with us one of your holiday traditions.
Every week, we have a stollen during the week before Christmas. This is an age-old family tradition now in it’s third year.
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I came up with the idea for the questions this week, so I guess I need to come up with some answers, too. It’s just hard to know whether to answer in the usual voice of the Sinnerman (libertine, Lothario) or as my true self (terminally married, older).
1. You have been invited to a lingerie party at the Playboy Mansion.
Do you accept? What do you wear?
I go. Wouldn’t miss it, and that’s despite the fact that I don’t really like loud music, heavy drinking, and I don’t dance. But I do like to ogle pretty women, and I’d be very curious to see the Mansion (reputedly looking a little tawdry around the edges these days). A Playboy party at some spiffy hotel location would not be the same draw. I need silk pajamas, a robe, and slippers. And some underwear?
2.
(for women) You have been invited to a private dinner at Godfather’s Pizza by Herman Cain.
(for men) The wife of a Fortune 500 CEO, reputed to have had extramarital relationships, invites you to a private dinner when the husband is out of town.
Do you accept? Why or why not?
It depends on the motive offered. If I was to attend as representative of some charity, I might. I know some techniques for freezing out a woman on the prowl. Have you seen the pictures of my children, and grandchildren?
3. Charlie Sheen (for women) or Your favorite female porn star (for men) is making a movie in the city where you live. You happen to meet him/her, and he/she suggests you stop by his/her hotel for a drink?
Do you go?
Probably not, mostly because the phrase “favorite porn star” doesn’t work for me. I don’t have any preferred professional talent. On the other hand, I suspect that porn performers, male and female, are not predatory; they have access to more sex than they need. I would be more concerned if it was a off-screen porn worker, e.g. director, or producer, or especially, assistant producer (i.e. porn-related non-entity).
4. Your boss (of the opposite sex) who has been very flirty with you insists that when you’ve finished a project by working late or on a weekend you bring it by his/her house immediately?
Do you go? Yes or no.
Do you go alone or take a friend along?
If there was a legitimate business reason, I’d go, armed with a reason that I couldn’t stay for more than a minute.
5. You’re working on a political campaign. Late one evening, you get a call from the campaign manager saying the candidate (of the opposite sex) would like to see you right away in his/her hotel room.
Do you go? Yes or no.
Do you tell someone you are going there or keep it a secret?
What do you wear?
My, my, politicians really have fallen into the soup, reputation-wise. I’d go, because I wouldn’t be working for a candidate who I couldn’t trust.
Bonus: What’s the best invitation you’ve received? Why is it memorable?
Let me skew the question a bit. Not the best invitation I ever got, but the most recent invitation in the general direction of sex and sin. About 10 years ago, a co-worker was getting married, and his boss invited a bunch of us to a local strip club. The intention was something of the bachelor party nature. This club, and others locally, get raided now and then by the liquor commission because of laws banning the sale of booze in the presence of naked flesh. The newspaper is always shocked, shocked. It was late afternoon, and there were few customers. The girls pole-danced one at a time. They had to stuff the jukebox with their own quarters. (Exploitation, anyone?) They ranged from lovely to ungainly. I was shocked, shocked to learn sex (presumably oral) was for sale in the back room. It was interesting to see who among my co-workers was at comfortable in these surroundings, and who was not (me!).
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A bunch of oddball questions with no particular theme:
1. Finish this thought: Nerds make me ____ ? (idea from PocketRockettz)
feel normal.
2. If you were in a beauty pageant, which would be your ticket to the tiara? (heard on the Newlywed Game)
a. Talent
b. Interview
c. Swimsuit
d. Evening wear (i.e., gown, tuxedo)
Interview. In the right mood, I’m witty, intelligent, and provocative.
3. On your body what is eye candy and what is an eyesore?
I have a very manly chest (surrounded by mostly nondescript other parts). My love handles are not a wonderful feature.
4. Your penis is starring in a gritty crime drama? Which part would it play?
a. Straight laced detective
b. Hooded criminal
c. Crooked cop
Straight laced detective, relentlessly getting into other people’s business (I hope).
5. Would you rather? (as heard on the Graham Norton Show)
a. Eat dog food for every meal for a year or
b. Get shot in the knee
I wouldn’t rather.
6. If you crapped yourself at work what would you do? (This was a poll taken at a blues bar…seriously)
a. Go commando
b. Do nothing
c. Turn ‘em inside out d. Wash in employee sink
Go commando. None of the others seem remotely acceptable.
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