Archive for the 'non-fiction' Category

TMI Tuesday @ 5/28/2014

May 27, 2014

Preparing the Body

1. Do you prefer your lover:

a) fresh from the bath and perfumed?
b) fresh from the bath without perfume?
c) clean but not right from the tub or shower?
d) slightly sweaty (or musky)?

This is no time to be fussy; it’s all good. However, since a preference is called for, I’ll take C.

2. Do you maintain your body for sex with respect to facial hair, body hair, pubic hair, fingernails or toenails?

One wants to be clean shaven enough not to leave a beard burn. I trim my fingernails. Otherwise, nothing for the bedroom that doesn’t get done for the board room. (I was in a real board room a few times, though not recently.)

3. Do you maintain/prepare according to your lover’s preferences?

I can’t remember my wife expressing a preference except that on the few times I was ripe enough to ask if she’d like me to shower, she said don’t bother.

4. Do you have body adornments such as piercings or tattoos for sexual reasons? Does your lover?

No. There was a period long a go that she found a chain around my neck to be good adornment for my manly chest.

5. Do you choose any cosmetics, lubes, condoms or other sexually relevant items according to how they taste? Do you not use them because of the taste?

Not at this time. I can’t recall that we’ve every used any such product that was formulated for taste. I did find out that spermicides taste terrible.

6. Is there a taste or aroma that turns you on or that you can use to turn on your lover?

Skin. Sexually speaking, everything about skin is good: touch, smell, etc.

Bonus: Do you prepare a room for sex–mood music, candles, scent, cleaning it or anything? Tell us about it.

Not really. We could do with a more better method of getting a romantic light level than leaving the bathroom door ajar.

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Experts Get No Respect

August 8, 2013

Almost everyone has areas of expertise, things they know better than the average person. I have several, including sailing and economics.

What about you?

Hysterical Literature

July 29, 2013

If you have not checked this out, go now:

http://hystericalliterature.com/

Click on “Sessions” and have a watch. I’m not sure it’s explained anywhere on the site, but the readers are wired up with vibrators which proves distracting…

Disclaimer

July 25, 2013

I am not Carlos Danger.

Call of Booty

June 4, 2013

Hedone had a post about a booty call. The incident described was a prime example of piggish behavior, but the geniuses in Hollywood could re-write it to be hilarious.

And it got me thinking… Is it still a booty call when it’s between husband and wife?

Chances are any two people will want sex on a different frequency. It’s easy to see that the person who wants it more often will initiate sex more often than the other, even if the difference is fairly small. According to all the untrustworthy little surveys in women’s magazines, it’s usual for husbands to want sex more often than wives. So the husband doesn’t get sex unless he issues a booty call.

If you have to be the one who initiates sex, it’s easy to imagine that the other person doesn’t want it, which is discouraging in itself, and makes you less inclined to ask. And, I suppose, if the other person is always asking, you could start to feel like you don’t want it.

A troubled area.

TMI Tuesday @ 04/01/2013

April 2, 2013

An Open Book: If your life were a book, what would the parts or chapters be titled?

Here’s the problem, if my life were an open book, someone would close the book, put it back on the shelf, and no one would ever open it again. It’s really hard for me to imagine any writer good enough to make my life into an interesting story, and beside, any writer that good usually lies. The first draft of the outline would look like this:

1. The Pre-School Years.
2. Elementary School
3. High School
4. College
5. The Army
6. Graduate School and Courtship
7. Marriage and First Job
8. The Family Years
9. The Empty Nest
10. Retirement

Now I would not have you believe that it’s all been boring, or miserable, or anything like that. Most of it has gone pretty well, but cozy satisfaction is not interesting to read about. It lacks a dramatic arc. Do you want me to write a three page anecdote about my wife and myself sitting on the couch doing crossword puzzles. No, you don’t.

I was thinking that since I’m older that most of my readers, I might offer a few life lessons, things I’ve learned through the years, that probably no one has told you.

1. If you are in the job market, and a prospective employer says he’ll call you back, don’t hang around waiting for the call. It’s hard on the nerves, and if he doesn’t call back in a couple minutes, he probably won’t call back in the next hour. And he won’t hold it against you if you’re not there. Go do something useful or fun.

2. If you are involved with a project and tasks are being handed out, volunteer early for the one you most prefer. If you wait, hoping to get away with no task, you will probably get stuck with the task no one (including you) wants.

3. If you have a spouse or long-time lover, don’t be coy about sex.

4. Men’s shirts cost more than $10.00.

5. You can’t keep up. One of my best never-to-be-written book ideas was entitled “What are you doing on Saturday?” The idea was to go through all the rooms in the house and detail the recommended maintenance tasks for each appliance and system. I mean things like putting vinegar through the coffeemaker, vacuuming the dust off the coils behind the refrigerator, flushing your hot water heater. Nobody does them all. You can’t. (This was inspired by This Old House. I noticed how all the vendors of fancy toys said “Just (do something) every other month.”)

6. You can’t gain 10 pounds in a day any more than you can lose 10 pounds in a day.

7. The world is much more complicated that you think. Unfortunately, it’s much more complicated than most of our elected representatives think, which is one reason that so many laws are badly written.

8. The other guy isn’t paying attention to your problem.

9. Anyone can walk into a doctor’s office and walk out with a life-threatening disease.

10. Your body and your unconscious know lots of things that your conscious mind doesn’t.

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Statistics Class

February 20, 2013

There is an article on the HuffPost with a lot of statistics about porn. Parts are quite interesting.

Link here. I don’t know how long it will keep working, though.

Mermaid Tat

February 15, 2013

Mermaid Tat

TMI Tuesday @ 2/12/2013

February 12, 2013

Topic: Role Play

I view role play as the safe (or safer) way to experience the forbidden. My explicit experience is vanishingly small, but we all pretend sometimes, even if the partner doesn’t know.

1. To spice things up in the bedroom, how adventurous are you willing to be? (select one)
a. I have never role-played before and will need a lot of instruction.
b. I have tested the waters, but never acted out anything scripted.
c. I have got my feet wet and want more!
d. Dive in head first – nothing is too deep.

My own taste would not be to expand on the universal trick bag of technique. It would not be the what, it would be the who. The nanny perhaps, or the MILF at the pool.

2. What scenario peaks your interest most? Why?

a. Romantic and sensual
b. Playful and fun
c. Kinky! I want it all.

Gotta go with b: playful. No point in the lovey-dovey stuff with a quick pickup, and I’m really not the kinky type (unless you insist on getting tied up;I’m good with knots). 

3. Which of these is closest to your ideal setting for a fantasy?

a. A brothel
b. A dungeon
c. A bedroom
d. A prison cell

How about e. a car, or f. a boat?

4. Which of the following toys would be prominently featured in your fantasy? (select one)
a. Feathers and whipped cream
b. Handcuffs, panty hose, and a necktie
c. Whips and chains
d. Ice cubes and a cold beer

Chocolate cake figures in a lot of fantasies, though not necessarily sexual ones.

5. It is time to take your sexy self to fantasy island, which fantasy will you bring to life to rock your lover’s world?

a. The Sassy Sexy Jersey Whore
Gaudy, Flashy, Showy…totally Jersey!

b. Kinky Cook
It’s all about the spice! Heating things up in the kitchen.

c. Naughty Maid
Your feather duster will tickle more than just the dust on the shelves.

d. Doctor Love
Saving lives and breaking hearts but not before you administer a head-to-toe physical examination.

e. Frisky Fireman
A hose so long you can put out several of the hottest fires and leave a smoldering heap as proof of a job well done.

I’m a dirty old man, so I go for “seducing the teen,” or the highly unlikely variant “joining the teen couple you are spying on for a threesome.”  And although I’m neither Dom nor sub in RL, I could role play a Dom for a willing sub.

Bonus: Tell us about your craziest or wildest role-playing adventure.

None of us feel our age, and I think a lot of us feel like children masquerading as adults, at least in some contexts. Often enough in bed, I feel like a teen playing the role of an adult. Sex is private and unmentionable. It’s the secret vice which is really a secret virtue. My virtuous public self plays the role of a secret sexual self. My mature self plays out the daydreams of my teenage self.

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Brothels

January 22, 2013

Very interesting pictures of Nevada brothels posted on Slate.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/behold/2013/01/22/mcandrews_nevada_rose_inside_the_american_brothel_photos.html

This link will probably go dead within a few days or weeks.

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