TMI Tuesday @ 1/22/2013

Questions about firsts and lasts. My firsts were so long ago…..and last might actually mean final, not just the most recent.

Complete each sentence with an anecdote of sexual adventure or misadventure:

1. The first time I . . .

The first time I saw an adult female naked was at the Topsham Fair. See: http://www.topshamfair.net/homepage.html I was a freshman in college. The fair was as seedy a little carnival as can be imagined. It was cold night in the New England fall. The lady “danced” in an unheated tent.

2. The last time I . . .

My last (most recent) visit to a sex shop was an eye-opener. It was an outpost of the Very Intimate Pleasures (V.I.P) chain. See http://www.vipct.com/ The surprise was that it’s more oriented to women than to men.

3. The only time I . . .

The only time I contracted to pay for sex was in the steam bath on an Army base in Vietnam. The deal was $2 for a handjob. As it turned out, the steam bath lady was afraid her boss would catch her at it, and didn’t go through with it.

I tried again another day on a different base. That lady asked $3, and I balked since the going price was said to be $2, and I didn’t want to feel cheated.

4. My best . . .

My best, and by best I mean sexiest, feature is a manly chest. You would swoon, if you are into manly chests. Wait, that’s not an anecdote, is it? Well, maybe a lady will drop by and it will become an anecdote.

5. My worst . . .

I can’t think of anything with a drop of interest for this category, not that I’m a saint, or anything. You don’t want to hear a story about a college boy coping a feel. Oh, you do? Well, I had a blind date. We went out to get booze and ice, and had a couple of drinks, and I got my hand in her blouse, and when she didn’t complain, I got my hand down her girdle. Later she confessed she “hadn’t liked me at first.” The first part was when I was treating her like a lady, so go figure.

BONUS: Everyone, however much experienced, still has some unfulfilled desires. What is at the top of your yet-to-do list?

This is the captain’s cabin in a very large sailing yacht.

Once. Just once.

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