Another Short Poem

Would you screw me if I asked you?
It’s not a thing that you would have to.
You could do it ’cause you want to.
I hope that that bad thought won’t taunt you.

Limerick for Reluctant Bitch

In a lodge south of old Timbuktu,
I ran into a girl that I knew.
We drank and we cuddled
‘Til her senses were muddled,
Then I took her upstairs for a screw.

About a week ago, Hedone sent out a call for mercy Limericks for blogger Reluctant Bitch. I don’t write Limericks often, but this one came to mind this morning, and I’m dedicating to cause.

Bar Talk

What’s your pleasure?
How’s the weather?
Who won the game?
Who is that dame?
How goes the job?
What is the prob?
How are they hanging?
Who are you banging?
Where is your ex-wife?
How was your sex life?
Live in a flat?
Where is it at?
What is the rent?
Time to get bent.

A Good Week’s Work

Sunday, I met her.
Monday, I kissed her.
Tuesday, I felt her.
Wednesday, I sucked her.
Thursday, I stripped her.
Friday, I touched her.
Saturday, I laid her.

Explanation

Let me explain about my penis.
It gets hard from pressure venous
When aroused by thoughts of Venus.
It isn’t anything heinous.

Winter Tail

Once upon a time
In a warm bed,
In a cold country,
It seemed sublime
To a dorm head,
To get bold cuntry.

And so he seduced,
With manner plain
And intent tricky,
A co-ed reduced
by legerdemain,
To a fate pricky.

TMI Tuesday @ 1/24/2012

The theme today is “Would you rather?” Well, I’d rather not, as in, rather not answer most of the questions. My supply whimsy is inadequate. However, I’ll comment on one or two:

Would you rather steal money from your Grandfather in the past or steal money from a Grandchild in the future? Why?

The Grandfather in the past. My Grandfathers were tolerant.

Would you rather be a person with a head that is noticeably big for your body or have a head that is disproportionately small compared to the rest of your body?

Big head. Head size = brain size. It’s something. Small head has nothing going for it.

Bonus (not from WYR): Would you rather have sex, with your significant other, in a sex club with all eyes and a spotlight on you OR would you rather get gang-banged & groped in darkness by a bunch of strangers.

For me, sex club, no question. I do not speak for my SO.

 

Click on image below for more information on TMI Tuesday.

False Association

I saw a girl who looks like Bones,
Which is to say,
I saw a girl who looks like Emily Deschanel.
And I wondered,
Does she have an affective disorder?
Which is a ridiculous idea.

If I saw a man who looks like Hugh Laurie,
Would I expect him to have
An American accent (like House),
Or a British accent (like Hugh)?

The human mind usually does not work by logic,
It works by association,
And is often wrong.

Inadequate Compensation

A cookie for nookie.
A rag for a shag.
A lei for a lay.
An oink for a boink.
A lump for a hump.
A sole for a roll.
A flounce for bounce.
A stoke for a poke.
A noun to go down.

Ghost Dreams

My lover slept,
Secure in her dreams.
Other lovers, yet unmet
Flickered by in ghostly streams,
Flaunting their carnality
In bold displays of erotic crudity,
Shy plays of romantic banality,
Vying for my attention with mere nudity.
My lover’s gentle breath drowned their siren call.
To the living, ghosts have no attraction at all.