TMI Tuesday @ 7/29/2014

July 29, 2014

In which we move to the statistical side of intimacy.

1.. How much sex is too much sex? Explain.

I have to answer this question based on theory since I do not have relevant personal experience.

IIRC, the type of poll cited in the next question generates claims of sex up to twice a day. Whew! I think most couples would be looking for a day off after a couple of two-fers. Once a day seems like an upper limit for people with normal hormone levels.

2. According to the Kinsey Institute, 18-29 year-olds have sex an average of 112 times per year, 30-39 year-olds an average of 86 times per year, and 40-49 year-olds an average of 69 times per year (how appropriate!).

a. Which group of averages would you prefer to belong?

This works out to be about twice a week for the young’uns and once a week in middle age. In the few discussions I’ve had with my admittedly less-than-kinky peer group, I’ve never heard anyone claim to get lucky twice a week, month in and month out. I don’t know who brings up the averages in the polls. Or rephrased, I don’t know the people who bring up the averages.

However that is, once a week would be fine.

b. Based on your age (if listed), find your group above. Would you say you are well below, pretty close to or high above your group’s average for having sex per year?

I’m out of the age range. As you might guess from the comment above, my sex rate has been below the published average.

3. Swinging (defined here)–have you tried it? Will you try it? Do you hope/wish to try it before you die?

No, and not bloody likely.

I do wonder, though, if swinging and casual affairs become more common with couples as they age. Jealousy on the male side, based on ensuring that any children are his, fades away, and it becomes harder to keep sex varied and interesting after three or four decades.

4. What is “having sex”? According to YOU and prior to this TMI Tuesday did you consider:
– Masturbation as having sex? Yes or No
– Performing oral sex as having sex? Yes or No

Good questions. Masturbation is not “having sex” except in very specific contexts.

Oral sex is a trickier issue. While it might be said that a couple who had intercourse one time “had an affair”, I don’t think a single hand job or blow job rises to that level. On the other hand, the average married person who finds his/her spouse is giving/getting oral sex is going to feel betrayed.

5. When was the last time you received oral sex?

Not recently enough.

Bonus: What is it?

Clearly a statuette of Tanisha Thomas:

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TMI Tuesday @ 7/22/2014

July 22, 2014

Can we talk… relationships?

man woman baby

1. What is the first thing that pops into your mind when you see an attractive person?

There is a special case: When I see a very good-looking couple with a small child, I wonder how hot the sex was that conceived the baby. Naughty me.

Other than that, I have a normal (I hope!) sexual attraction to a pretty woman.

2. What is your idea of a dream date? Describe the person and the type of date experience.

Having been married for 42 years, I don’t dream about dates much. That said, any night out that allows us to forget about day-to-day worries works for me.

3. How many serious relationships have you had? Were you in love?

I guess the answer is two. The first was strong infatuation. The second was/is the real thing.

4. How many casual sexual relationships have you had?

That depends on the definitions of “casual”, “sexual”, and “relationship”, but I will say zero.

5. What will ruin a relationship for you?

Stupidity, boredom, fighting.

Bonus: What is your definition of sexy?

Sexy is that which arouses, and it’s entirely context dependent. A nice smile helps.

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Hard and Fast

July 21, 2014

She stroked my pecker like a bad girl,
She stroked my pecker hard and fast.
She stroked my pecker like a bad girl,
How long can I make the stroking last?

I fucked her pussy like an engine,
I fucked her puss hard and fast.
I fucked her pussy like an engine,
How long can I make the fucking last?


Situation

July 17, 2014

I’m away from my regular computer, and I don’t feature trying to compose a complex post via my tablet. Regular posting will resume next week.


Hot Girl

July 9, 2014

She was a hot miss,
Seduced with a kiss,
Or the merest caress
From a hand on her dress.
A finger’s touch
Was always enough
To induce her to screw,
As naughty girls do.

She was a hot tart,
Playing the slut’s part,
Ready to jack,
Or lie on her back.
Lively and fun,
And, all said and done,
Her body was nice.
I did her twice.


TMI Tuesday 7/8/2014

July 8, 2014

It’s high summer! Here are some questions about the hot season.

1. Summer clothes are more revealing than winter clothes. What is the skimpiest outfit that you wear out in public?

White t-shirt and shorts.

2. What summer outfits turn you on when you see other people wearing them?

My tastes are not unusual. I like women in short shorts and blouses that button, but which show some cleavage. Also skimpy bathing suits.

3. Summer is hot! Sex is hot! Do you find that hot summer weather leads to hot summer sex?

No, actually. I find hot weather leads to lethargy.

4. It’s summer and oysters are off the menu (or maybe not, see http://www.salishseafoods.com/pages/myths.html). What foods are the aphrodisiacs of summer?

I’ve never had much luck with aphrodisiacs, real or placebo. I would guess something that promotes fun + coziness would be the best bet, say, s’mores around the campfire.

5. Summertime is hot and thirsty time. What is your favorite summer drink, alcoholic or not?

For everyday meals, iced tea. At drink time, gin and tonic. And always, beer.

6. Two traditional vacation destinations to beat the summer heat are the mountains and the shore. Where do you like to go?

I’m a seashore man.

7. Summertime is road trip time. Do you like to go on vacation by car?

I don’t like driving long distances, so I really don’t get the road trip thing.

8. Summertime is experiment time. What are you going to do this summer that you’ve never done before?

I hope to spend a night on my boat for the first time.

9. Summertime can be hazardous. What summer threat do you fear most? Possibilities: bugs, wildlife, heat, lightning…

I think I take more precautions against the sun than anything else. Avoiding thunderstorms when sailing is probably second.

10. Summertime is summer fling time. Have you ever had a summertime romance? How far did it go?

I stole a few kisses in my HS thru marriage years.

Bonus: Summertime is Festival time–music, art, seafood, and more. What festivals have you attended or will you attend?

When festivals strike, I stick in the mud.

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TMI Tuesday @ 7/1/2014

July 1, 2014

Questions about life. Big topic!

1. We learn from our mistakes. What sex or sexual mistakes have you made and learned from, What was the lesson learned?

A very interesting question, and I don’t have an answer. I think to find an answer, I’d have to try EST or get therapy or something. How soon do I need to get back to you on this?

2. What risk (sexual or not) would you take if you knew you would not fail?

If I knew I would win, I’d buy a ticket for Mega Millions. But you knew that. I guess if I knew she would acquiesce, I’d ask Mr. VS for sex more often.

3. At what time in your life have you felt most passionate and alive?

That would be the wooing and screwing years between college and marriage.

4. What one piece of advice about sex would you offer the virgin you?

Go for it! At least, an HJ or BJ will do no harm.

5. What are you avoiding?

Me? I’m not avoiding anything. Hey! Don’t look behind that curtain!

6. By what age should you know what you want to do with your life?

I don’t think there is such an age. You should always asking yourself if there is something better to do. On the other hand, by your early twenties, you should be buying your own food and paying your own rent. (I don’t mean this to exclude the stay-at-home parent. If that’s what works for a couple, it’s fine. Unless they’re living in the grandparent’s basement. :))

Bonus: Do you think you’ve experienced true intimacy in a relationship?

Yes. We can finish each other’s sentences.

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Permission Granted

June 26, 2014

She dropped her bra, and let me touch,
And let me kiss, and let me suck.
And so I did, for minutes by,
Until I heard heard her breathless sigh.

She dropped her pants, and let me taste,
And let me stroke, and then embrace,
And as I did her breathing got
Fast and shallow, loud and hot!


TMI Tuesday @ 6/24/2014

June 24, 2014

Reflux Condenser

Below is a list of academic fields of study. For as many of these disciplines as possible, share a memory. It could be something that happened in class, an Aha! moment, something about the teacher or something that was helpful later in life.

1. English

The high point of my study of English was when I got the following comment on a paper on a college paper:

“In a paper on Shakespeare’s imagery, you have avoided discussing, or even mentioning, a single one of Shakespeare’s images.”

2. History

Growing up in New Jersey with roots in New England, history was all about the Revolutionary War. I lived on the route that Washington’s army took after the victories at Trenton and Princeton. The army camped at Jockey Hollow and he had a headquarters in Morristown, abut 10 miles away. Until I was four, I lived in an old house which some said had been an inn where Washington danced. But then, he was rumored to have slept in just about every structure in that area that looked old.

My wife is one of the vast army of amateur historians that document local events. Among the lessons I’ve learned from her research is that, in some areas, including the part of Connecticut where I live, the Revolution was a civil war, with many families being split between Tory and Patriot.

3. Foreign Language (French, Spanish, Latin…)

I was in Latin class when Alan Shepard became the first American in space (except maybe for X-15 pilots) on a sub-orbital flight lasting about 15 minutes. Audio reports were piped over the school PA system. One of the girls whimpered “I hope he’s OK” which struck me at the time as a useless waste of words.

4. Psychology

I never studied psychology in school. What I know, I learned post-marital.

5. Mathematics

I was a math major, so you would think I’d have a bunch of stories to choose from, but I found this to be the most difficult subject to find an answer for. Here are a couple of examples of how math has affected the way I think in everyday life:

a) On our last trip to California, we took our granddaughters to the La Brea Tar Pits. When I bought tickets for the museum, I told the ticket seller that there were two children aged 5 and 2 1/2 (children 2 and under are free). I was surprised that she only sold me one children’s ticket because 2 1/2 is greater than 2.

b) I have trouble understanding why people get all hyped up about round number ages and anniversaries (25th, 50th, etc.) because I’m aware that they are only round in base 10. If we used octal numbers (base 8), as some computers do, those anniversaries would be 31 and 62. Worse, they would be 19 and 32 in hexadecimal.

6. Physics

A ballistic pendulum is just a suspended weight. If you strike the weight, you can measure the energy of the strike by how much the weight moves. Like this:

In my college physics lab, they gave every group a single shot .22 cal rifle and a single .22 short, with which to shoot the weight (a large block of wood). They didn’t even ask if you’d ever shot a gun before. (I had.) It’s not hard to hit a target about a foot square from a distance of maybe 12 feet, but a miss is not inconceivable. At the time, I thought it was just another of a long line of examples of how the college treated us as adults, but I bet they don’t hand out weaponry any more.

7. Chemistry

I had a number of great experiences in chemistry. Once I had a nice reaction going in an apparatus with a vertical tube on top (reflux condenser – see above). I swirled the flask, which accelerated the reaction, and chemicals shot up the tube and hit the ceiling.

8. Biology

I remember these words from the explanation of flower sex: “Bells flash, lights ring, Zygote!”

9. Gym

Not my strong point. I was quite likely the slowest runner of the boys in my HS class.

Bonus: Did you have sex education class in school? What grade or age did you have this class? Thinking back on the sex education class what was the most surprising thing you learned? Was this class helpful to you in your sex life?

Back in the day, there was no sex education in the modern sense. However, in eighth grade, we were divided by gender for a class in “health.” In the boys’ room, it was a pretty dull class of which I only remember being introduced to the word “urine” as the proper name of something called by many euphemisms. I learned (or inferred) later that the girls were being taught about menstrual periods. Not that they would tell us. Having an older sister, you would think that I’d know.

Besides, males have to know about menstruation, eventually.


Short and Curly

June 19, 2014

I love some curly pubic hair,
Please don’t shave those places bare,
Show me yours, if you dare,
Love that curly pubic hair.

I love to fuck a hairy twat,
I just find it so, so hot,
So please, now show me what you’ve got,
‘Cause I just love a hairy twat,


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